Fucking Migrane

Currently i am at work, migraine is building, i took 3 Tylenol, and got some sunglasses from my car, they help a ton, even though i look like a douche wearing sunglasses inside. But anyways, well i think i am officially over hipster/alternative girls, or whatever vague nomenclature you desire. i am beginning to think they are even more flakey than other types i have liked in the past. The most recent was Ruby, she reminded me of a Milwaukee version of Amelie Poulain, i met her several weeks ago with Bobby Digital, at R.C’s, i built up the courage to talk to her once, but the conversation didn’t really go anywhere, so i left, then i saw some other guy talking to her for a while, arrogantly i felt better than him, and Bobby Digital pressured me into going up to her again, i did, and this time it went much better, we talked for a while and it went pretty well, it wasvery refreshing cause we had similar senses of humor, i got her number, i called her a few days later, and left a message but like the last time when i called Tashana i forgot to leave my number. So i was presented with the conundrum of whether to call again, or wait. i waited and sent a message instead through myspace, i learned from her myspace account that she also smoked, a surprisingly huge positive. i got a response back, and she wanted to hang out sometime next week, and she said to give her a call that night to hang out. i called her that night while i was out with some guys from work, she was in bay view, but i was ready for a change of scenery, i called, and went to bay view. She was there with one girl friend and about 5 guy friends. They all seemed pretty cool, but decidedly more punk and alternative than i, then Ruby made the suggestion to go back to her place and smoke, i agreed as well as her other guy friends. She came with her girlfriend but she wasn’t coming so Ruby asked if she could go with me, i contemplated and agreed quickly. We got back to her place and smoked than the guy friends began reminiscing about past stories that involved them and only them. i tried interjecting some jokes sporadically, some succeeded, others failed. After one of the failed jokes, i saw Ruby look at one of the guys and shake her head and make one of the throat cutting motions, i am not sure what the topic they were discussing or pantomiming was, but instantly assumed it was me, and got significantly more self-conscious and paranoid. The guys continued discussing stories that involved neither Ruby nor i, and i tried getting conversations between us going but most were dead topics, for example, the guys were talking about skateboarding, so i asked Ruby what sports she plays, she thought for a moment and said, “I’ve never really played any sports.” The guys finally began to get tired, and decided to leave around 4, i made sure to be the last to leave, after the guys left, Ruby asked, “Are you leaving?” i replied, “Oh, are you staying up?” She replied “no”, i became very flustered and confused, i thought things were going great, then after the throat cutting motion i didn’t think things were going well, then when she asked if i was leaving like that i thought she have wanted me to say, but when she said no she wasn’t staying up a thought i was being presumptuous, and things weren’t going well. Needless to say, (which is a phrase i love and hate due to its extremes redundancy, since if it is “needless to say” then there is no reason to say it other than that you don’t think it is needless to say to the person because you don’t think they could have made the connection) i was ridiculously confused, highly inebriated, and kinda paranoid, i don’t remember specifically what was said or stammered after but it was to the effect of, i had a good time tonight, we should hang out again next week, then i left awkwardly without a hug or anything else. i tried calling a few days later, then that weekend, and heard nothing, so i am left even more confused and curious about what actually happened.